Oh mo!!!!!

Daughter can say "no" quite well. But for some reason she thinks the expression is "oh mo!!!!!"

We think it's pretty cute.

Big girl bed!

And a couple of play dates :)

big girl bed

We switched Daughter over to a big girl bed last week.  It's going really well!

We need to get the crib out of her room, because she's on the trundle bed (less distance to fall).  When the trundle is out, the day bed is still there, as well as her play tent, piano, dresser, and crib.  It's really crowded!

Next step: potty training!

Oh, and she's getting her 2 year molars. Fussy to the fuss degree!!!  My goodness... I thought we'd seen fussy. 

We went to a friends birthday party At ChuckECheese and she fussed whenever she was not allowed to play the game she wanted at that moment. 

Got one cute pic though....

It's hard

It's hard to see babies and think that we'll never have another.  At the same time, I love seeing babies because they're so adorable and fun...

I have nagging doubts in the back of my head.  I *know* that they aren't the reasons God didn't give us a genetic sibling for Daughter, but they still nag me...

What if I'm not a good enough mother?
Are we being punished for refreezing one excellent embryo at the March transfer?
What if God doesn't want us to homeschool?
What if I won't be able to handle more than one child?

I know it's all nonsense... but it still nags at the back of my brain.

We're looking into our options.  Traditional adoption...

My conference call with Dr Keenan was Thursday.  He said he doesn't know why I haven't gotten pregnant and that it could be the changes in my body since having Daughter.  He said we could go back for a 4th attempt if we used the "special needs" embryos.  We decided against it, for now.  I really don't think that I can get pregnant again.

Not pregnant.

Not pregnant.

Negative beta

I tested Friday and Sunday... so I knew. 

Still hard.

7dp3dt

This didn't get published last week for some reason....  Written last Wednesday. 

We're all sick. Mat, daughter, me...

We all went to urgent care last night and had ear infections and red throats (the rapid strep test was negative). 

So we all got antibiotics. 

I had emailed Lynda earlier in the day asking which antibiotics would be ok to take if I needed any. She said any antibiotics that are safe for first trimester. 

The nurse practitioner seemed very interested in embryo adoption. She asked us loads of questions and seemed really pleased that it existed. :)

So today Daughter and I are taking it easy... Mat is at work but still feeling lousy. 

Here's a cute pic of Daughter with one of her TN souvenirs :)

Thanksgiving cousin fun

All of my pics are of the kids... Mostly just two of the kids!

Hey grandma... What's this big colorful thing?

Daughter helping to sweep so the bouncy house could go up. 

Hehehe

Mmmmm. Pizza!

Sitting on the deck:)

5dp3dt

I didn't cramp at all today!  Woot!

Slight nausea, some itty bitty boob soreness.  Exhaustion... Overheating easily (in a 68* house!)... Extreme hunger. 

Today I took a 1.5 hour nap. So nice!

****TMI alert****

Last night I had some watery discharge. That's new...  Mat researched it and he said it's fine and maybe even a good sign.

Are these symptoms of the hormones I'm on?  Possibly. But it's nice to be PUPO and have symptoms :)

4dp3dt

(4 days past 3 day transfer, for those unfamiliar with the lingo)

I'm having nausea and very mild cramping. Very hungry!

The cramping made me nervous because the only transfer that I remember cramping from was the July transfer which was a BFN (big fat negative). 

I did some research and it seems pretty normal. Last night I had some twinges in my lower andomen. Implantation?  Time will tell :)

Transfer day!

The transfer went great, but only 2 of the remaining 5 embryos survived :(. Three died.

That was hard to hear. 

Of the two that survived, one was good and grade 1, and the other was average and grade 3. 

Not very heartening considering the July transfer we transferred 3 excellent embryos. 

But only God knows which of these precious babies will survive on this earth. 

We're still very hopeful. My lining was 12mm and we did the endo scratch this time. Here are some pics

Cade's cove

Last night we got to meet with another couple transferring through NEDC. We had a lot in common with them and really hit it off. We met them for breakfast this morning, as well. Their transfer was today, so prayers for them!

We went to Cade's Cove today. Beautiful!

We found a cave!

And we also went to Pappy's quilt shop again. They were having a 25% off sale!  

The transfer is tomorrow!  Eep!  I'm less nervous/anxious than I was before the trip.  Mat is really doing well at helping me stay relaxed. I probably won't sleep very well tonight, but it shouldn't be that bad :)

We're here!

We arrived late this afternoon in Knoxville.   

The drive was nice- Mat drove almost the whole way- and we listened to audio books. 

We stopped at Missouri Star Quilt Company!  It was great!  They're building a new Man Cave in Hamilton for other amazing hubby's who go there with their wives. 

This morning was my first shot of progesterone and I was cut back to two Estrace a day starting today. Tomorrow I start two shots of progesterone (am/pm). 

A week from today...

It's hard to believe that the transfer is only a week away!  Calendar-wise, I'm already pregnant!  (At the transfer I will be 2 weeks 3 days pregnant)

Crazy!  

I'm feeling a bit nauseated.  That's on par for me and my nervous tummy. But then in the back of my mind I worry "what if I'm getting sick?"  

Daughter is cute, as ever. Today she was a bit more fussy than normal. 

She loves to play "nigh nigh" in mama and daddy's bed. She pulls the quilt up and says nigh nigh. 

She enjoys when I make different noises depending on where she pokes on my face or her face. 

She LOVES when daddy walks his fingers toward her for a tickle. 

She's curious...

She's ready to have a little brother or sister to play with!

Trip Around Tennessee Quilt

I made this Trip Around The World quilt out of the fabric that I got in TN on the last trip. 

So I'll have a lovely new quilt to snuggle in during my bed rest :)

Bandana Blue and Bandana Purple

I made these quilts for the daughters of our friends. They loved them!  Both are minkee backed- one in purple one in blue. 

Haloween!

Daughter and I went down to my sisters house this weekend for my nieces birthday. It was so much fun!  But we did not sleep well. At all. Oh my, daughter is a nightmare today.

Onto the pics!

My sister liked the fabric in younger nieces quilt, so she requested the same fabric line (A Beautiful Thing). 

Daughter loves her cousins!

It was a blast!  The toddlers were Elsa and Anna. For all of two minutes. They didn't actually trick or treat because they were overly fussy and sleep deprived.

We also went over to visit with NEDC friends. That's always fun!  No pics... And Daughter got really fussy so we left early. But I had a good talk with fellow NEDC mama. It's really nice to talk with someone who has been through it all.

Then when we got home, Mat had stew going in the crock pot!  So sweet!  Then he let me take a long bath and get some mama time :)

Endo scratch and baseline tests done!

I had my endo scratch, ultrasound, and lab test done already. I'm on my way!  

The endo scratch went pretty well. It was a new Dr who I had never seen before, but both she and the nurse were very friendly and nice. 

The woman who did my ultrasound was originally from TN. She didn't know about NEDC, but she had heard of embryo donation (not adoption). 

Daughter and I spent the night in Fargo Monday night for my appointments. We did not sleep well... So now Daughter is fussy. I hope she takes an early nap!

Here are some pics of her :)

Listening to and watching the bell choir at church. 

She wouldn't take a nap twsterday, but then ended up crashing on the floor :)

Potty training boot camp drop out :(

We tried... Oh how we tried!

In hind sight, she was not ready. I wanted her to be. I wanted to have her potty trained before the transfer so that we wouldn't have to deal with potty training while I am (hopefully) pregnant. 

Did not work. 

Oh goodness... It did not work. 

This was actually my second attempt. I gave it three days because that's the "boot camp" I've heard of. Day one- hard with lots of laundry. Day two- somewhat easier, just as much laundry. Day three- they start to get it!

Not my experience at all. 

Day one was on course... Day two was actually harder. Twice within one hour she actually climbed off the potty to pee. What?!?  Didn't see that one coming. Day three there were no successes. None. She woke up wet, went to the potty, nothing, ate breakfast, wet herself... It went downhill from there. 

She doesn't get it. From what I've read since starting the boot camp, the child has to ask to be changed after a poop or needs to hide during one in irder to be ready. Daughter does neither. She still poops at the dinner table sometimes. 

I'm sad. But also happy to be doing less laundry now...

Fun in the October sun

Update on Daughter

First of all, she's as cute as ever. 

And she's talking more and more in the midst of her babbling. Her favorite word is "outside".  

She's counting!  Not great, but when she hears a number she'll say the next few. It's very cute. 

I've had two unsuccessful attempts at potty training. Next week we're going to try the potty training boot camp. I really hope to have her potty trained before the transfer. 

She's doing better grocery shopping. She pushes the cart most of the way and when she gets the walk-about bug I put her in the cart. I only do short shopping trips with her, but she's been doing well :)

She's still not great at story time. But she had to start getting better one of these days. 

She's getting so fast!  I can't keep up with her. 

She enjoys coloring. Often times it's on her body... But it's all washable. :)

She's getting better about listening and obeying, but still not great. 

We love her so much!  We're so blessed to have her :)

The wrong Estrace!

The mail order pharmacy has sent me the wrong generic Estrace. 

I noticed that the pills were shaped differently than in the past, so I called the pharm. yep!  They sent generic Estrace from another manufacturer. Doesn't seem like a big deal, but dr K only wants TEVA Estrace. They knew this and sent the wrong one. 

The pharmacist I spoke with said that they'll probably send out the correct rx free of charge, which make sense because it was their error. I'll know next week. 

I also got my med protocol today. Another slight heart attack... I couldn't log in to the new site for the info so I emailed Lynda, waited about 45 minutes (it was after 3 here which meant after 4 there) and then I called. 

Turns out, after some figuring, I was one of the few in the July cycle who was tried out with this new protocol relaying site, so I had changed the automatic password. 

I got my lab, US, and endo scratch orders. I called my local clinic to get them scheduled and the infertility nurse was out but the nurse who returned my call didn't know what an endo scratch was... Yikes!  I hope he infertility nurse does!  Otherwise I need to find another clinic :(

So a lot happened today on the EA front. Happenings mean it's getting closer!

Getting closer!

I just got an email from Lynda (NEDC nurse) and we need to update our lab tests. 

Luckily, Mat already has an appointment next week so he can just bring the order. I'll just stop by the clinic for the draw when I'm in town. 

We're very fortunate that we love in ND where they have a 2 year home study, rather than just 1-year. So we don't have to renew the home study, just the lab tests. 

It begins...

I've started my OC. I'm moodier, hungrier, and I have acne. 

The things we do for kids :)

Quilting retreat!

Disappearing Pinwheel (the quilt many of us worked on)

This past weekend was my old Church's annual quilt retreat.  I love to go and quilt (obviously!) but also see old friends :)

Two of my very best friends in the world :)

"scrap bags" made with left over fabric from last years quilt

I made the three on the left, the "Boo Bag" was in the gift exchange :)

Quilt top for my niece