Wiggler! (9w1d ultrasound)

We've decided to call baby "Wiggler", on account of his wiggling.

During the US, we saw him move a few times.  That's not uncommon, but you usually can't see the movement at 9 weeks. 

Praise God!  Everything looks perfect!  Our little Wiggler :)

"Catan" for a middle name?

Mat just suggested "Catan" for our child's middle name.

As in the board game "Settlers of Catan"

I will love him forever.  :)

Merry Christmas! :)

Yes, It's still Christmas until Epiphany in my book.  Do you think they stopped celebrating when He was born on the first Christmas?  No!  That's when the celebration began!

We never take down decorations until after Epiphany, which coincidentally is the new member Sunday at our new church when we'll become members :)

My symptoms are fading- which is good.  I only actually threw up a few times, but I was nauseous most of the time.  Now It's primarily right when I get up and in the evening.  I've read this is normal and I'm one of the lucky ones who's body gets used to the hormones before the first trimester is over.  I really feel much better about it since we had that wonderful 6w4d US, but we have another on Monday, at 9w1d.

***Afternoon update***
Ha!  So much for symptoms fading!  I had to lay down I was so sick... then Mat made me some food and I gradually got a bit better.  But wow, that was the worst I've had it.

Friday night scare

On Friday night, we were rushing to prepare for our 7 hours in the car on Saturday (driving out to WI to Mat's brother's house).  I took a shower before bed, was putting on lotion while sitting on the bed, and when I got up I noticed a reddish pink spot on the sheets.

***FREAK OUT!!!!***

So I ran to the bathroom to check, and yep, it was definitely coming from the baby spot- not some bizarro cut on my thigh or something.  I  somehow managed to keep calm until Mat came in from burning the garbage- I think I was in shock.  When he got in, just a few minutes later, I called "honey", my voice cracked and then I started bawling.

He came and calmed me down.  He just told me that everything would be all right and prayed with me.  He's such an amazing blessing!  We decided not to go anywhere this weekend and just stay home and relax.  We were supposed to meet up with my family Sunday in the twin cities.  Mat texted them and they were all very understanding... it would have been great to see baby nephew, but we just weren't up to it this weekend.

***TMI alert***
Anyway, turns out that it was just a few drops, which of course I didn't know at the time it started.  It most likely was just an injury to my cervix, which are exceedingly common in the first trimester.  Because the body has so much more blood, it makes bleeding easier at the slightest irritation.

I have absolutely no cramping and haven't for a weeks.  Which was a wonderful sign. 

First OB was cancelled :(

The Dr is sick today... and she'll be out for the next 2 weeks for vacation.  Poo.

I rescheduled it for 1/11/13 at 4:00, that way we're almost certain that Mat can make it.  Not as certain as we were about today (because his company is closed) but we have to do it.

I've been pretty nauseous lately.  Brushing my teeth makes gag and/or throw up... but then not brushing my teeth makes me ill from the rotten taste in my mouth.

But, it's all for baby, and it's worth it!

We have the 9 week US scheduled 12/31/12.  We know Mat will be able to make it because his company is closed that day :)

Pregnancy brain...

I have pregnancy brain hard core.

Many examples... but the most recent one was about 5 minutes ago.  Katie called from Dr Keenan's office and I thought she was calling from my clinic up here.

Katie-"Hi Malia.  Just calling to ask about your 6 week labs and US.  We haven't received any results yet."
me-"I had the labs done Tuesday during my OB intake"
Katie- "OK, well we haven't received them yet.  Or your US"
me-"well... I'm coming in tomorrow, I'm sure you'll have the results by then.  And I had my US done at the hospital that you told me to go to... I can bring a CD of it with if you want."
Katie-"you're coming here?!?"
me "wha... phtdnkescnulkd?"

That is not ver batim, but it was something along those lines.  My already not great at remembering what I hear brain is now pregnant.  And people wonder why I prefer email so much?

Yeah.  Pregnancy brain.

As I typed this my maternity yoga pants and leggings arrived :)

OB intake

I had my OB intake today.  It went rather smoothly, just a lot of questions to answer and some lab tests.  The nurse doing the intake was very nice.  She seemed somewhat interested in the fact that we had adopted the embryos...

After the appointment I went through a drive through and met Mat for a lunch date in his work parking lot.  It was pretty nice :)

I realized as we were eating lunch that I had not taken my morning pills (estrace and B6) so I took my estrace then and my B6 as soon as I got home.  Wow... I'm really sorry that I forgot it!  I feel so nauseous!

Baby Lehnertz 6w4d :)

I called on Wednesday to see if they had any openings earlier than Friday, and they did have an afternoon appointment yesterday!  I couldn't wait... and Mat wasn't going to be able to go with me anyway... so I changed it!

That's our baby!  A "perfect" embryo with a "perfect" heartbeat (the US tech actually used the word "perfect"!)

We've never had a successful US of a healthy baby before!  And I was unreasonably nervous... and more so because Mat couldn't go with.  My mom came with, which was awesome, but she came with me to the two times before when I lost babies (twins that I found out I lost at 8 and 10 week US after weak heartbeats at 6 and 7 weeks)

Praise God!  He is so awesome!  Embryo adoption is so awesome!

breathing...

I've been breathing harder... not really short of breath or anything, just breathing more air.  I've read that it's common in pregnancy.  But wow... it's really noticeable!  I'm taking it as a good sign since my breathing didn't change at all in my last pregnancy.

My morning sickness is worse at night.  Odd... but it really calms down in mid afternoon, so that's nice.  No actual puking yet... several close calls in which Mat had to grab a bowl for me quickly.

My ultrasound is set for this Friday.  I scheduled it that way because I wanted Mat to be able to go... but now it looks like he'll have to work anyway.  :(

Oh well, OT hours and OT pay are a good thing, right?  

Adoption tax credit

I received the following email from our SW at CFLS...

Dear Current and Past Adoptive Families,

We need to do all we can to keep the adoption tax credit in place. Here is an opportunity to sign a petition to do just that.  I signed it and am encouraging you to do so also.  You need to create an account to do so, but it is easy to do. It didn’t work when I tried to use my work email, but it did when I used my personal email. I encourage you to send this email on to family members and friends that would be willing to sign also. It seems like we should be able to get the 16,000 signatures needed without much trouble. There is nothing to loss and much to gain if we are able to keep the tax credit!

An online petition for keeping the adoption tax credit--needs a bunch more signatures by Dec. 8th.

https://petitions.whitehouse.gov/petition/support-hr-4373-and-s-3616-help-make-adoption-affordable-keep-tax-credit-and-make-it-refundable/GknZZR2H

Thanks for your prompt attention to this,

Nancy

Nancy M. Meyer, MSW

Adoption Social Worker

Christian Family Life Service

I signed, you should too!

A 14 year old in my womb...

Just got off my consult call with Dr Keenan.  He sets them up on the date of the transfer for all his EA patients.  I'm sure it might take a bit longer if a pregnancy hadn't been acheived, but mine was a 5 minute phone call.

I found out that the embryos we adopted were 14 years old!  Wow!  That's pretty amazing that they can be frozen for that long and still be alive!  I am sort of freaking out though... he said that 14 years frozen was among the oldest they'd used... but he said they don't decrease in viability or quality in the frozen state.  My pregnancy is no higher risk than any other of their transfers :)

It's strange because looking at the profile initially I knew that the twins born from this "batch" were born in 99... but I guess it didn't really sink in.

He said there's no reason to do genetic testing... and I'm to let my OB know that the bio mother was 34.

My ultrasound is set up for next Friday afternoon.  I'm so anxious!  I just want to hear a strong heart beat!

The order that NEDC sent me was for anytime next week... but I want Mat to be there to hear the heartbeat for the first time, too (and he wants to be there!) and he has Friday afternoons off... so, next Friday afternoon it is!

Dr Keenan said that that's when we'll know about singleton or twins.  I honestly don't feel like I'm pregnant with twins... but who knows?  We'll be blessed either way!  :)

God is great!

Now the IVF nurse is Katie?!?

I emailed Peggy, at the ivf nurse email, to ask about taking some unisom and B6 for morning sickness and when I would receive my orders for the US...

And Katie, the IVF nurse responded!  Color me shocked.  She's the 4th IVF nurse since I've been dealing with NEDC!  She seems nice... and is prompt in responding to emails.  Maybe she and Peggy are doubling up on the position?  Who knows.

I guess it's a pretty demanding job and they need to find the right person for it.  I think Kelly was quite good at it... but Nancy would be better elsewhere.  I didn't deal with Peggy enough (if she is done) to really have much to say about her.

In addition to morning sickness I've had fatigue, hunger, thirst, and breast tenderness.  Peachy.  But they all mean I'm pregnant, so it's good!  God is good :)

695 HCG this morning :)

Woot woot!
Monday Beta- 292.3 (12dp3dt)
Wednesday (today) Beta- 695  (14dp3dt)

Awesome!  Praise God!  It's supposed to double every 48-72 hours... so I'm pretty much right on track.  Last time (with the twin pregnancy) it quadrupled.  So... not so hopeful for twins, but won't know for sure until the ultrasound which will be at 6 weeks, according to Peggy.

Who's Peggy, you ask?  Why, she's the new IVF nurse!  Much more friendly.  I called after confirming that U of MN had faxed the results (patience is a virtue that I lack), and pressed 4 for the IVF nurse- Peggy answered.  I told her I was calling for Nancy, the IVF nurse, and she said she was the new IVF nurse.

Well that's great!  Nancy is probably a perfectly nice person, just not friendly enough to be an IVF nurse, IMO.  I'm not friendly enough to be an IVF nurse... I'm not really a people person... But anyway, Peggy was much nicer!  So glad that I get to work with her from here on out :)

And my friend from church offered to give me her cloth diapers!  Rock on!  Great day :)

God is awesome.  I've known for ages what a blessing adoption is... but we're the first couple who we actually know (aside from my online friends I've met since we've started, and you rock!) who have gone through the miracle of embryo adoption.  We're so blessed!  We weren't cursed with infertility, we were just blessed in other ways :)

Just did an online calculator and my HCG levels are doubling every 38 hours :)
HCG doubling calculator

BFP!!!!!

Woot woot!  My HCG is 292.3

We took our first tests on Thanksgiving... I didn't sleep well at all the night before because I was so nervous about it!  What if it wasn't BFP (big fat positive)?  That would ruin Thanksgiving but there would still be a good chance that we were...  but we took it!  I think I would have slept poorly that night too, had we not taken them.
8dp3dt

 Mat dipped both tests... just to make sure.  It's faint, but you can definitely see it!  Definitely lots to be thankful for :)

 The one above is from Saturday, 10dp3dt.
Below is from Sunday(darker!) 11dp3dt

And then today was the oficial lab work!  292.3!  My due date is 8/4 :)

Nancy about killed me... I was positive we were pregnant, but she put me on hold twice before telling me!  Apparently she had something to figure out before she told me... but honestly, couldn't she just say "you're pregnant!  Now I have to figure something out..." I was just praying fervently while on hold!

I'm having some nausea.  Yesterday was pretty bad.

I go back on Wednesday for another test to make sure my HCG is progressing at the right rate.

And Mat got a job offer!  He has another interview today... Either way we'll be living at the homestead full time in two weeks!

God is great!  Woot woot! 

7dp3dt

I'm going crazy... I need to test! I'm not sure that I could handle a BFN (big fate negative)....

But, with the symptoms I've been having, I'm pretty positive that I'll get a BFP.  I actually woke up at 5 am Tuesday morning just famished!  I couldn't get back to sleep without eating something!  That hasn't happened since the last time I was pregnant... with twins!  But then last night I ate right before bed and made it through the night.

I am really tired... but that could be the progesterone.  Although I was taking that for a few days before the transfer and I didn't get really tired until this past weekend.  Sunday night I went to bed at 9!  Even after getting a nap!

And last night I watched Criminal Minds from last week... I cried... happy tears!  When Rossi honored his fellow military men.  It was really sappy... wouldn't have made me cry under ordinary, non-hormonal, circumstances.

The lab test is Monday... I doubt we'll make it that long without testing....

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!  :)

5dp3dt

Or for those of you unfamiliar with the infertile lingo, 5 days past a 3 day transfer.

That means a bit over 3 weeks pregnant, or 8 days that the babies have actually been growing, 5 of them in my womb.

I've had a bit of nausea... but I think it might still be the Estrace... or the fact that I'm expecting nausea.  And I've been pretty tired.

My clinic test is next Monday!

The waiting is the hardest part...

For now, at least, I'm pregnant!  Praise God!  Let's hope and pray that I can carry this pregnancy to term :)

Mat is amazing!  He does the progesterone injections, keeps me calm, lets me rest regularly... The house is a mess and I haven't even unpacked all our stuff from TN!  But he's ok with it and has been picking up some of my slack :)  I'm so blessed to have such a wonderful husband!

Here's a pic of our babies!

We're Pregnant!

Today they transferred two of our babies!

One was a grade 1, and one was a grade 2 (1-5 scale, 1 being highest quality).

I actually filled my bladder too much...  So the transfer was really difficult for me.  But the doctor also had some difficulties navigating around my strange insides.  So it took even longer, which was much harder with my too-full bladder.

Sandy was the recovery nurse, and she was just awesome!

We got some pictures, and we hope to one day make a book for our babies.

This is such a blessing!  Praise God!

On a sadder note, one of the embryos didn't survive.  We look forward to meeting him or her in heaven.  :)

This is a pic of Dr Keenan and us after the transfer.

We're here!

We have two days to relax and hike around Smoky Mountains before the transfer.  Today was awesome!  We took a picnic lunch in a back pack and ate on the mountain.  We saw deer... two of them were maybe 30 yards away while we ate.  One was at least an 8 pointer!  (8 countable points, maybe some smaller points that we couldn't see)

We drove up to the old mill in Cade's Cove from the early 1900s and wandered around there.  It was pretty neat.

Then we went to a quilt shop.  Mat had searched for one online last night (because he's just so darn sweet!) and I picked out 3 new fabrics to put in our future babies quilts :) 

When we were at the quilt shop I looked at my phone (which hadn't been working in the park) and I had a message from Nancy at NEDC.  It's all set for Wednesday and we're supposed to be there at 8:15 :)

Prayers are apreciated :D

Good to go :)

Finally got ahold of Nancy.  There was a problem with them receiving the lab results again... so my clinic here had to refax again.

endo=9.2
E2= 316

I'm told those are great numbers!  Don't really know too much about it... but at my first U/S and estradiol test I was 4.3 and 39.2.... so more fertile now.  Right?  Not really sure what estradiol has to do with anything... but something in the pregnancy preparations.

Woot woot!

Guess who's lining is 9.25mm!

That's right, mine!  So that's great.  I'm still waiting for the call from Nancy with the clearance to start the Progesterone (after she gets the U/S and lab results) but I feel pretty good.

God is great!  He is awesome!  He loves me and I love Him!  :)

I know I'm supposed to praise Him in both good and bad times, and I do.. it's just so much easier in good times! 

So if (or when) we get the clearance call for next Wednesday's transfer, we'll take off tomorrow morning for the drive and have a few days to relax and hike around down there before the transfer. 

I miss Kelly :(

Kelly was the IVF nurse at NEDC... she was thoroughly awesome and kind as could be.  Now there's a new nurse, Nancy... who I'm sure is just stressed about picking up patients mid-cycle, but she certainly came across as less-than-friendly.

Sucky.  I emailed her yesterday asking if I needed to order a refill of my Estrace... no response... so I called her today and she seemed a bit peeved that I would have to call and ask.  Well, I emailed to ask but didn't get a response... I need them by Friday if I need a refill, so, yeah, sorry, thought I'd call.

I hope she was just having a bad moment and that she's more friendly next week.

I'm getting some acne... not sure if it's a side effect from the drugs or stress.

Next week I'll be in TN about to get our babies in my womb!

nauseau...

Estrace makes me nauseous.  It's gotten slightly better since I stopped the Lupron (not sure if stopping Lupron had anything to do with it... my body could just be getting more used to them)... but between the Estrace and my prenatals I'm nauseous a good 50% of the time.

Today I ordered some chewable pre-natal vitamins.  Hopefully that will help!  They'll be here Wednesday.

The drive will not be fun if I'm nauseous the whole way.  More fun than a plane ride, but still not fun.

I hope I feel less nauseous by Saturday!

Today, I'm officially pregnant.

By the calender, if all goes well and our babies are transferred in two weeks, then today is officially my first day of pregnancy :)

Technically, not pregnant... no babies in this womb.  But according to the calender I'll be two weeks pregnant at conception... so, I'm pregnant!

That's exciting! :)

On another note, the Gamill long arm that we rented went crazy last night and we only got two rows of my quilts done (I'm quilting them side by side to save time).  So we're going back next week to finish.  I'll have to hurry to get them bound for the trip!

The NEDC sent us a letter.  The embryos we adopted have some extra fees, $830, for transporting and storing... well, we knew this might happen but it was definitely not in the front of my mind.  Last night (after the long arm machine went kaput) I got home pretty stressed, got my shot, got the mail and found out about the fee.  I cried... Mat was amazing, as always.  Between these meds and all of the stresses we're going through right now, it was just too much!  So... that sucks.  We'll be able to do it, though, and that is a blessing.

But it's the fee for all 15 of the babies- so it's about $55/baby.  That's a good way to look at it! And when we go back for a future pregnancy with our embryos, we won't have another surprise fee.

Upped Estrace and worse headaches

Yesterday my Estrace got upped and my headache was worse.  I had to take Ibuprofn twice yesterday... I'm not sure if it's from the Estrace or the build up of the Lupron.  I could certainly still function.  I'm also a bit nauseous.  Again, nothing earth shattering, just different.

My mom and I sewed this weekend.  Almost done with the new nephews car seat quilt and I'm going to get started on a smaller version of the cut-up quilt using Papillon Charm Packs.  Tomorrow we're going to quilt the twins quilts on the Gamill :)

I like that we're getting them quilted before we go to NEDC.  We can bring them with us to snuggle up with :)

headaches but no hotflashes!

The Estrace seems to have leveled out my internal thermostat.  Woo hoo!  No more waking up in sweat!  No more stripping off layers to cool off!  It's fall and now I can enjoy warm sweaters and PJs :)

I do still have the headaches though... a bit nauseous and I'm pretty bloated. 

But babies are totally worth it!

Next week my mom and I have the Gamill rented out to quilt the twins quilts.  That will be nice to have them to snuggle up in when I get back from TN :)

Hot flashes, nephews, and starting the estrace...

Each night I wake up sweating.  And my husband is fine (last night he actually woke up cold)... so that's interesting.  I've had some tenderness at the injection spots and in the breasts. 

Our nephew was born!  That's exciting!  Yesterday we made the trek out to WI to visit him in the hospital.  He's a healthy adorable little boy!  Both he and my sister in law are doing well :)

Got the call yestreday while I was holding my adorable new nephew that I was cleared to start the Estrace today.  My ultrasound and lab looked good!  Praise God!  So I've started Estrace.  1/2 a pill twice daily for now. 

I just hope the side effects aren't as bad as the Reclipsen!  I'm praying!  But even if they are, it's all part of God's plan for us to get children.  I'll just cry... a lot... and then some more! 

It probably won't be that bad... but I don't think I've ever taken Estrace before, so I'm really not sure.

headaches, crazy dreams, and normalcy!

I've gotten headaches for the past few days.  Nothing earth shattering, just maybe I should take some ibuprofin kinda stuff.  And last night I dreamed that all of our new neighbors in ND (neighbors being a strange word... the closest is over a mile away) came over to introduce themselves.  One had made some mulberry wine which I tasted and loved... one was names Seive... they were all friendly and gave me canning tips.

But I'm relatively back to normal.  It's amazing!  I love it!  People can talk to me without me wanting to or starting to cry!  Oh normalcy, how I've missed you!

My first ultrasound and lab test is tomorrow.  I remember when we went through the IVF rounds I got poked for labs so much that my elbow was all bruised and sore.  This time, since it's a frozen embryo transfer, they aparently only need to draw blood and do an US twice!  That'll be a nice change... and we already know we have 15 babies so that takes so much of the pressure off.  My body didn't respond well at all to the ovary stimulation before, so it's nice to get to skip that step.

My dad came out to the farm today to take some pics of us for a Christmas card.  I think they turned out pretty well :)

Mookie hears things with his radar ears and turns his head for every picture :)

And my mom gave me a great sign with our name on it and a farmall... but I forgot to hold it up for the pictures!  We're still deciding where to put it... on the house, garage, or by the well pump... but either way it's a great sign!  And soon there will be more of us living here :D

My sister's getting married today!

And yesterday was my last day on the evil Reclipsen... So now it's working its way out of my system!

I woke up feeling so much better!  I was actually joking with hubby and not bawling by the time I was in the shower.  Praise God!  I'm off the crazy pills!  I feel so much better... such a blessing that I feel better for my sisters wedding!

Granted, all of the other meds I'm taking or will take have some effect onme, but not nearly so drastic.  For instance, Lupron, which I'm taking now, gives me hot flashes and vivid dreams.  Something I can live with when the slightest thing doesn't make me cry.

Last night I had a dream that if you took a picture of someone holding up a mirror in front of a mirror, that if you had another similar picture you could see what the person in the first picture was seeing.  So if you looked in the first mirror in the second pic aiming it at the first pic, you could see things that weren't actually in the picture but that you could see if you were there when the picture was taken.  It was really strange!

So glad that I'm off Reclipsen for my sis's wedding!  There will be dancing tonight :)

God is awesome!

Our nephew is about to be born (BIL and his wife are having a baby) and I made him a quilt.  I put the first verse of "Jesus Loves Me" on the label.  Maybe I'll post a pic if I get time...

Thaw and transfer agreement

Well the whacky vivid dreams started last night.  There were zombies... hehe.  Lets hope tonight's dream is not about anything scary!

I'm so lethargic... and stressed.  I can't stand being less-than-rational but it seems I really can't get around it right now.  Hopefully rationality will return on Friday, because Thursday is my last day with the OC!  Yay!  Three cheers for not taking evil hormones...

Last night my injection site really hurt and turned red.  It only lasted about 15 minutes... but Mat was amazing and calmed me down and took great care of me.  I am so blessed :)

We sent in our thaw and transfer instruction form today.  It's just the form that says how many embryos we want thawed and transferred, but it took a lot of thought and prayer.   Eventiually we settled on 2.  But if (and only if) they were both of very low quality we want a third. 

The one time we had surviving embryos (from the 6 eggs they got out of me through two IVF attempts) there were two of medium quality and I had a twin pregnancy (with weak heartbeats from the beginning).  So, apparently my body is ready to hold on to babies, just the mix of hubby and I doesn't create viable children who'll live past the first trimester. 

I'm hoping and praying that our new babies will!  Their sibling embryos gave their biological parents twins :)

I'll be pregnant in a month!

That's exciting.  Also exciting is the fact that I started Lupron yesterday and get to stop OC soon!  Woot!  God willing the pregnancy will last... and we'll get live babies as a result :)

I'll take Lupron injections (or even progesterone injections!  which I will shortly...) any day over the evil OC they have me on.

Every time I've been on Lupron I get some really wacky dreams.  Nothing that I remember from last night... maybe the Unisom is counter-acting the dreams.

Babies on the brain

I start the lupron on Sunday... the rest are dependent on how my body responds at the ultrasounds and labs.  It's exciting that it's getting so near!

I'm so insanely excited about taking my last OC... they have been the death of me!  When/if we go through this again, we'll definitely request a different OC.  They knew that Yaz worked well for me with past fertility treatments, but still prescribed a different one. Probably because Yaz has so much bad stigma with it now...

I'm starting to not sleep the best.  This happens whenever I get excited/nervous about something.  The adoption, plus the move, plus my sister is getting married in a little over a week!  I've asked the nurse if Unisom would be ok to take.  I hope and pray that it is!  Just a half of one of those babies and I sleep like a baby!  Baby baby baby!

Homesteading weekend

What a wonderful weekend!  Full of work- but it was the stuff that doesn't seem like work.  God is awesome!  Every time we look around our homestead we are in awe of His greatness!

We got a snow blower for our tractor (much needed in ND)

 Mat loves his tractor!

 Did some canning of apple pie filling and a few pints of applesauce.  First time using Tattler lids!  They worked well when Mat tightened them... when I tightened the rings (and then loosened the 1/4 inch as per the instructions) one of them boiled out!  We used that one to make some pastry pockets last night.

We got the garlic planted.  Mookie and Bindi were anxious to watch the process.  We ordered our planting garlic from seedsavers this year; rather than just planting some garlic from the farmer's market.  We're hoping that it gets larger.  (we covered them later in the day with pasture grass).

We also ordered some trees, fruit trees, nut trees, raspberreies, and blueberries in root stock from a nursery for spring delivery. Apple trees grown from bare root stock will produce in 3-5 years!

Life is wonderful... God is wonderful.  We are so blessed! 

Meds ordered!

The meds are ordered, they're looking into what my insurance will cover.

Just the normal Lupron, Estrace, Progesterone in oil, and valium.  They should be delivered next week.  I'll start taking them shortly after for next months transfer!

Lupron keeps me from ovulating.

Estrace prepares the uterine lining.

Progesterone in oil matures uterine lining and makes it ready for pregnancy.

Valium helps me relax my muscles during the procedure.

I'm actually excited to start these meds and get off my current crazy hormones meds (aka BC pill).  There is some overlap, but I should be able to stop the crazy pill soon!

Quilts for the twins we lost

This weekend was the annual quilting retreat with my mom's church (the church I grew up attending) and as usual, I attended.

This years quilt top was a tad easier than quilts of years past, so I opted to make 2- one for each of the twins we lost last August.  We named them Freedom and Liberty (we didn't know if they were boys or girls) so we thought the Americana colors were appropriate.

They're large lap size quilts so we can snuggle up in them to always remember them.  My mom and I will rent out the Gamill to quilt them up nicely.

On the adoption front, no med protocol yet.  They've assured me it's coming by the 15th.  The meds I'm already on are making me moody enough!

Funny thought for the day- I never went on the birth control pill until we started trying to have a baby.  Good thing, too.  I don't think I could deal with these hormones for any extended length of time!  I read on another EA blog that God had designed her so well that any extra hormones made her out-of-whack.  How true that is! 

50 days of wait...

We hurried!  And now we're waiting... again.  50 days.

Soon enough (probably this week) we'll get the medication protocol.  That's both exciting and nerve-wracking, but it will all work out as God intends.

50 days of waiting is a walk in the park compared to the 4 years of infertility and miscarriages we've gone through :)

The transfer is officially scheduled!

We're all set for 11/14! 

The transfer, of course, depends on whether my body responds correctly to the meds- no pressure there!  But it'll probably be good because we've gone through it before with IVF just fine.  My body responds, my eggs, not-so-much.  Plus we even did the "trial transfer" back in June and my body seemed ready.

It's good news that we won't be on the first transfer date, 11/13, because we've been honored to be asked to be Godparents for our good friends new son!  The Baptism is scheduled for 11/11, so we'll be a little less rushed with the drive down.

Next week we should get the medication protocol and start up with that!  I'm less happy about that, but it's all for Baby... so it'll be good :)

Hurry up and wait...

Hurry up and wait has been the theme of our lives for a while now.  With infertility treatments and adoption (and even the home buying and the impending move), it seems that you have to rush to get things done by some certain deadline (or an imaginary self-imposed deadline) and then you just wait around to find out the results.

Right now we're waiting to find out the actual date for the transfer and when we can start the medication protocol.  I've already started the cycle controlling part of the meds, but the whacko hormones that need to be injected are soon to come. 

Mat is a saint for injecting me and then putting up with the crazy hormonal woman I become.  It's really hard on me, but I know that it's just as hard on Mat and he doesn't complain.  I do... I'm the one getting crazy meds and repeated injections on the already sore spots!

I hope that this cycle is easier on me than our previous IVF experiences.  It should be, because I don't have to take Follistim and others like it... no need to stimulate these ovaries!  We have 15 seemingly healthy embryos ready to go :) 

So they just have to prepare my body for taking them... should be a walk in the park ;)

I can do all things through God who strengthens me!

Our 15 babies! (embryos)

We made our choice on Friday and sent in the email... and waited all weekend to hear back!  But we did this morning and we got the embryos!  They hadn't been taken!

I was so nervous about that because when we requested the additional information on the 7 donor couples, one of them had already been taken!  So we had to make our choice quickly lest our desired embryos be snatched up by another adopting couple. 

The couple we chose not only looks the most like us, but seems the most like us from the short profile we got on them.  Outdoorsy...  like to read... have professions along the same lines as ours... favorite colors, food, played the same sports and instruments as kids...

And they had twins from these embryos!  TWINS!!!! 

It's awesome... God is awesome!

So now we're going to get my medication protocol and we're on our way for a November transplant!

I've had "Thine is the Glory" stuck in my head for a few days... it seems so appropriate.  Because of Him and His plan, we may get to raise some children from this.  Either way, we have babies (we believe embryos are just really tiny babies) because of Him.  Thine is the glory! 

The selection process

We narrowed it down!  Way down!  From 90 + to 7!

2 of the donors we liked the most had 2 PN embryos.  15 and 5 of them.  According to my hastily written notes from the NEDC visit, PN embryos have a 90% chance of surviving the thaw (the highest) and an equal chance at pregnancy as the multi-cells or blastocysts.

So we've requested more information on them.

Also, we've requested more information on 2 multicell donors (5 and 3 embryos) and 3 blastocyst donors (3, 2, and 2 embryos).

The NEDC requires that we have a minimum of 5 embryos chosen.

The PN couple with 15 seem to look the most like us.  That is far from the most important thing, but it'd be neat to have babies who look like us.

One of the blastocyst couples I loved, hubby not-so-much.  I fell in love with the fact that they attached a short 3 point note to their donation form.  It says that if the children want to meet them at some point, they would be fine with it (but it is a closed adopion unless the child/ren choose otherwise), they want both embryos donated to a single coupe so if there are siblings they could be raised together, and they are willing to care for them if both parents died and no immediate family were available.

That really got to me.  We do have plenty of family, so that's not an issue.  But the fact that they had  the separate instructions.  That is totally something we would do.  And if we had embryos to donate, we would want closed but be open to the idea of the children contacting us if they decided to.

But the woman is 40 and the man is 50 (why hubby didn't love them)- or at least they were at the time of the donation.

We've requested more information on all 7.  We'll wait and see what the additional information says!

We'll be praying about this a lot in the coming days.  Hoping that God lets us know which children are meant for us :)

God is great!

Yay!  Our home study has been approved through the Fertility Support Center and they've given the green light to NEDC.  We get to start looking through donor couples profiles tomorrow!  Woot Woot!

God is amazing!

Sunday we had my cousins out to the homestead and their kids are just so darn cute!  There were 4 little ones in all, one just 6 weeks old!  Holding her made me yearn for our own children even more.  It looks like, God willing, that may happen soon!

Our Home Study is done!

Yay!  Our home study is done and being sent in to NEDC!  We actually finished our part for the home study weeks ago, but there were a couple references that were late getting in and the SW had to wright it all up.

So anyway... the next step is NEDC approves it (they said it should take a few days) and then we can start looking at profiles.

For those of you who have never gone through the adoption process, the home study is a very long very detailed process- not just a quick visit to your home.  It starts (for CFLS anyway, our adoption agency) after an all day group study with other prospective adoptive parents.  Then you get to do more paperwork than you think humanly possible- including finger prints, a physical exam, a psychological exam, an extensive and intensely personal autobiography, tax returns, financial statements, two office visits and then a home visit... and a boatload of other things that one wouldn't think of!  Not to mention the cost... I always hear people say children are expensive and I think to myself try infertility treatments and adoption... then have all the normal expenses that come with children on top of those!

But it's worth it!  And Nancy, our CFLS SW, and all the others at CFLS are awesome to work with.

So we've been pinching pennies for a while now.  And we'll continue.

God is awesome :D

Right... so... we're adopting!

After 4 years of infertility, IUI, a devastating miscarriage of twins after IVF, a failed second attempt at IVF, and a lot of prayer- we feel God wants us to adopt some embryos!

We were medically cleared through National Embryo Donation Center (NEDC) back in June.  Our home study is being written up by our adoption agency and soon we'll get to look at profiles.  If all goes well, we'll be getting the first implant done in November.

I don't personally know anyone who's gone through an embryo adoption, but there is a forum on baby center and one of the ladies has been very helpful.  Embryo adoption is relatively unknown... loads of people we tell didn't even know EA existed.

Good news for us- it does exist!