Wednesday, January 6, 2016

Adoption options

When I first took my last negative home pregnancy test, I bawled. I didn't sleep well that night and then I was up at 3am researching Korean adoption. 

I felt that God might be leading us that way. We have Koreans who we are very close with and it was my first instinct at 3am.  Must be God's hand at work, right?

We contacted Korea through the agency who works with our state. We were turned down for medical reasons because of my hemi-paresis. 

That was a blow- but "in all things God works got the good of those who love Him" (Romans 8:28)

Now we're praying for guidance about whether to do domestic infant adoption or try foster to adopt. 

I'm worried that many birth mothers would feel the same as Korea. I need to cast my worries on God. 

We're taking some time to figure out what we want to do. We're going to meet with our pastor and pray a lot more. 

On another note, we've had several people volunteer to be surrogates. It is truly heartwarming to know that people love us so much. That is not a way we want to go. We don't believe that's in God's plans for building our family or that it's Biblically sound. 


  1. Praying for discernment for you as you make decisions about adding to your family. May God make a clear path!

  2. Keeping you in our prayers as you pray for guidance for His plan to be revealed to you. Hugs from Kansas!

  3. Glad you aren't going with surrogacy... Not only are the ethics a little shady, I don't think not being able to carry is your problem at all. I still believe that sadly most embryos have chromosomal abnormalities and just won't continue to grow. I'm excited to see where God leads you guys! (Hugs)

  4. God bless you, Malia, as you seek His will for your family. As painful and arduous as this journey is, you are blessed to still be young enough to consider infant adoption. We are in a similar situation of having several failed transfers after one successful pregnancy, but find ourselves in the age range that disqualifies us from many infant adoption programs.

    A song that had comforted me in the loss of our son's siblings is "The Lost Sheep" song based on the parable of the ninety and nine from the Rain for Roots children's album, "The Kingdom of God Is Like This." We are seeking the little lost lambs that God may have for us, and marvel at the tenacity of the Shepherd of our souls to pursue and love every one of His sheep.

    We will continue to pray for your family to grow and give you wisdom and peace.

    1. I will also pray for you and your family. I tried to look up that song on youtube, but it keeps coming up with a ton of different things.

    2. The name of the song is actually "Go Get the Lost One." From the album _The Kingdom of God Is Like This_ by Rain for Roots (Sandra McCracken, Katie Bowser, Ellie Holcomb, Flo Paris)

      I love to give this CD for baby gifts or kids birthdays but really the parents enjoy it as much as the children.

  5. To clarify, our transfers were adopted embryos through NEDC as well. Also, after studying this process as a nurse-midwife, observing other cases, and talking with other experta in reproductive medicine, I agree with Jennifer's comment. The problem is likely not you---It is probably the embryos. What a precious gift your daughter is!