It's all in God's hands...

I know that the lives of our precious snowflakes are in God's hands.  That comforts me.

But I can't help thinking oh, I need to do this completely trivial thing to make this transfer work.  Or the last time worked, but this didn't... I have to make sure not to do anything differently....

Examples include-

• Not wanting to stop at Missouri Star Quilt Shop on the way (I didn't the first time, and we had Daughter!)
• wanting to stay in the same room at the Holiday Inn (that's just bizarre, I know)
• wanting to stay at the Holiday Inn just because of proximity when Dr K said up to an hour drive after transfer should be fine.
• Maybe if I make a new quilt for the babies we lost last time and snuggle in it during my post-transfer bed rest, rather than bringing the Liberty quilt as I have done for the previous transfers?  After all, the time it worked Liberty was one of the most recent loss, so maybe using it again, when we have a more recent loss, won't work?  
• I should make a quilt out of the Fabric from Pappy's Quilt shop for the babies lost... that would help!
• What if I eat less protein?  (we ate more protein in March because the place we rented had a grill.  Dr K assured us it didn't matter)
• I need to eat more pizza... I ate a lot of pizza the first transfer.
• We shouldn't hike the day before transfer (Dr K assured me that our little 4 mile hike was OK)
• What if we'd finished that hie at the sinks?  We were so close...
• I can't buy pee sticks until after the transfer
• The time that worked my bladder was too full... maybe if I hadn't relieved myself a bit (done per dr K's instructions)?

I'm pretty positive that we will stop at Missouri Star... pretty positive we will rent a cabin type place (we found one cheaper than the Holiday Inn about 30 minutes away)... pretty positive I won't be able to make a new quilt before we go... but there are a few I'm going to stick with.

I'm not going to buy pee sticks in advance...  Won't hike so much the day before transfer...  Will probably finish the hike at the Sinks...

I know that God is in control.  But these things will make me feel better. 

Infertility makes me crazy.